Jan 18, 2010

Organizing and sharing my life

So I had this dark cloud looming over me....

My storage unit. It's like a black hole. Things went in on that one day and haven't been seen since.

Andy's been telling me to move everything into his our house ever since I moved in. I wanted to. I really did. I missed my stuff!

But there was just one thing. It was his house, and I already felt like I was taking over his personal space as it was. I didn't want to overdo it.

That, and I was just plain scared. I'll be honest. Moving in with Andy was a gi-normous step for me and a decision that I didn't take lightly. I was torn because Andy and I wanted to be together every possible second and we literally spent every possible second at each others houses. It was logical for us to make this move.

But giving up MY storage unit and moving EVERYTHING- my entire life- into his house was frightening. It felt a little like I was giving up that independence that I had fought so hard and so long to get back.

But Andy had said to me. I asked you to move in with me. I want you here. I love you. This is OUR house. End of story.

In the past relationship it had always been 'this is mine, not yours or ours.' But Andy has made it clear that our relationship means

Our life together, our things, etc. It's so refreshing, because all I ever wanted was a partnership and a friendship, not a business deal.

So, very slowly, I've started to realize that by saying goodbye to my storage unit, I wouldn't be giving up my independence, I'd be choosing to fully share myself- my entire life- with someone that I love very, very much and can't imagine being without.

Now that's a huge step- admitting that I love someone (and that I understand exactly what that means now,) admitting that I want to share the rest of my life with that someone, admitting that sharing my life with someone does not mean losing yourself in that person and not being afraid anymore.

So the goal is to have everything moved out of storage and neatly organized into our home by the end of the month.

But, Eek! I have a lot of stuff!!

I blame my mother, who started stock piling my trusso collection by the time I turned 13. But boy, am I grateful to have all those gorgeous dishes and linens even if I wasn't sure what to make out of getting pots and pans for my 13th birthday. ;)

I'm still working out where I'll put everything. I may have to consent to a massive yard sale to scale it all down a bit.

You never realize how much stuff you have accumulated until you have to shove it into a 5x10 space.

Can I just say how good it feels to finally be closing up the Black Hole forever?



I love it! I'm so glad you're getting your stuff out of storage and integrating. What a great feeling that will be to totally finish that off. I think you're doing some serious growing and I wish you both the best in all you're doing. It's awesome. :)

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