Feb 24, 2010

sometimes i really really miss it...

Sometimes it makes me cry that I'm not dancing, teaching, coaching or judging anymore.

I miss my students. I miss the movement. I miss the feeling. I miss the floor under my Cats Paws.

I miss the pain of my arches and the pain of my lower back. I miss the sweat. I miss the smiles and facials.

I miss the art of creating, synchronizing, failing and triumphing.

I miss the sequins. I miss mixing music with Tracy in his studio and drooling over the new fabric choices with Teresa at Doolittles.

I miss pumping my girls up before they take the floor and screaming for them while they're out there.

I miss unloading props at 6 am, music check at 7am, coaches meeting at 8am, and awards at 10 pm.

I miss the frantic dancer who comes to me praying that I brought an extra hairpiece and the other dancer who just wants a hug.

I miss the parent complaining to me that the costume is $60 this year instead of $58. I miss telling 4 year olds to hold their taps still and stop touching their neighbor in the tumbling line.

I miss Windexing wall after wall of mirrors and stressing over how I'll pay the studio rent this month.

I miss the recitals and the flowers and the pictures.

I miss wearing a judges badge and getting cramps in my hand after 8 hours of scribbling pointers and scores onto judging sheets.

I miss watching my students succeed and building them up again after they fall.

I miss hearing "Teacher, can you fix my bun?"
and "Teacher, I love you"

I miss being needed. I miss being looked up to. I miss being really really good at what I do.

I miss it all. The good. The bad. The ugly. The beautiful world of dance.

Sometimes it hurts real bad not to be in that world. Especially when I run across videos like this:

But no matter how much I miss it sometimes. I can recognize that it's not the world I'm supposed to be in right now.



It's hard to miss things like that. It always makes you wonder. But I'm glad you know you're on the right path. Because you are.

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