I know, I know. I had every intention of buckling down this week and studying my fanny off, but I'm just so tired!!! I'm so tired of running, working, trying, pushing, and on and on. I just want to play for awhile.
The leaves are changing and the air feels cool in the morning. I just want to go walking and listen to music and take it all in and free my mind of deadlines and assignments and to do lists.
This is the part where I would much rather spend hours here:
Andy went to his parents house a few days ago and I was in a pouty mood all day that I couldn't go with him and sit at the kitchen table chatting with his mom or wander around their yard and feel envious of all their flower beds.
I talked with my mom last night on the phone and we sadly realized that it's been a couple months since I was at her house. That makes me very unhappy because she is alone there and I just want to spend the day painting crafts or raking leaves or baking cookies with her.
And I miss my sister who lives so far away! I want to take a weekend to visit her. Take the half day car trip with my music turned up loud and nothing but my own thoughts to keep me company. I want to do our nails together and go shopping and play with the puppy!
And I'm still crying over the fact that I can't buy books and I WANT BOOKS!! I wish that was me at that desk and this was a room in our house.
I keep trying to get ahead with school work and money and everything else, so I can afford to take a break and indulge myself, but it never seems to work. I just continue to crawl along at this painstakingly slow pace and it makes me so frustrated!!
Sometimes life is so not fair and even I have a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.