31

essay revisions

done!

praise the Essay Gods

i survived without killing my professor

30

it snowed today
i have mixed feelings about snow

how can something so beautiful
be so damn cold!!

Enough!!

Sometimes- yes.

But for a week straight and counting?!!!

I've had enough of me already!!

Make it stop.

I just want to laugh again and skip and dance and be HAPPY!!

No more mood swings, plz!

29

count down to friday

i'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck

28

i have a sandwich problem

i continually make the same mistakes

when it comes to sandwiches

mistake #1:

cucumbers

i really like cucumbers

but for some reason, every time i get them on my sandwich

i don't like it and i think 'next time, no cucumbers'

but next time comes and i order cucumbers

sometimes i even have a little argument with myself

and then still end up ordering cucumbers

mistake #2:

my eyes are always bigger than my stomach

typically by the time i get around to eating,

i'm starving.....famished....

about to kill over from lack of nourishment

so i convince myself that i can eat a whole

(or a foot long if i'm at Subway)

every single time i make it through half the sandwich

only to realize what a fool i was to order a whole

mistake #3:

justifying

i always justify ordering a whole or a foot long

based on the fact that i will just save the rest

and eat it for lunch the next day

never happens

we all know why

by the time tomorrow comes

your sandwich is soggy

so instead of getting two lunches out of one

i end up wasting half of my lunch

and going hungry the next day

or spending more money

on another foot long sandwich

with cucumbers

Escaping

I don't think I can stop myself from escaping into my little dream world today- the world where I avoid all responsibility whatsoever, get absolutely nothing of any importance done, and wistfully waste my time perusing Etsy and Anthropologie and playing on Polyvore and ShopStyle.

I know, I know. I had every intention of buckling down this week and studying my fanny off, but I'm just so tired!!! I'm so tired of running, working, trying, pushing, and on and on. I just want to play for awhile.

The leaves are changing and the air feels cool in the morning. I just want to go walking and listen to music and take it all in and free my mind of deadlines and assignments and to do lists.


This is the part where I crash from all the busyness I was craving just three short months ago.

This is the part where I would much rather spend hours here:

or here:
Gigantic sigh!

Andy went to his parents house a few days ago and I was in a pouty mood all day that I couldn't go with him and sit at the kitchen table chatting with his mom or wander around their yard and feel envious of all their flower beds.

I talked with my mom last night on the phone and we sadly realized that it's been a couple months since I was at her house. That makes me very unhappy because she is alone there and I just want to spend the day painting crafts or raking leaves or baking cookies with her.

And I miss my sister who lives so far away! I want to take a weekend to visit her. Take the half day car trip with my music turned up loud and nothing but my own thoughts to keep me company. I want to do our nails together and go shopping and play with the puppy!

And I'm still crying over the fact that I can't buy books and I WANT BOOKS!! I wish that was me at that desk and this was a room in our house.

And I can't get these little treasures out of my mind that Andy and I saw weeks ago when we were at Urban Outfitters.




I keep trying to get ahead with school work and money and everything else, so I can afford to take a break and indulge myself, but it never seems to work. I just continue to crawl along at this painstakingly slow pace and it makes me so frustrated!!

Sometimes life is so not fair and even I have a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

25

"Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time,

destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end."

~Author Unknown

Always bring a camera

I got this email from Andy today entitled "Reason Why We Should Always Carry A Camera" and it was filled with this cute pictures. I thought I would share some with you.

FB

My little cousin, Landree, is the cutest thing ever! She messaged me on Facebook today just to say 'Hi cousin!'

She wanted to know how old I am. When I told her 28, she said "WOW! That's old!" Ha ha!

I must seem ancient to her. I swear the last time I saw her she was only 3 or 4, and now she's 10, going on 11 soon.

It made me think of what a great thing FB can be for families who don't get to see each other that often. Landree and her family don't live near us and we miss seeing them a lot.

It's fun to be able to keep up with everyone through the internet and have such a convenient way to stay in touch with each other's lives.

I have several friends from high school that I thought I would never see again, but have been able to reconnect through FB. Sometimes my mom talks of her very best friends that after high school she never saw again and she often wonders how they are doing. How nice it would have been for her to have something like Facebook then.

I have a friend who says "Oh, that's so stupid. I would never get a Facebook and feed in to all that craze." And I just think how sad for her that she is missing out on the opportunity to keep in touch with so many good friends and family.

Anyway, that small little chat with my sweet cousin, totally made my day and I owe it all to FB for keeping us in touch.

24

just got the news
my younger sister is going to have a baby

she hasn't told anyone yet
other than mom and i

i'm so extremely happy for her & her husband
and excited to be an aunt for the first time

i'm excited for my mom to have
her first grand baby

so why do i feel this tiny
pang of jealousy?

i know i'm in the right place in my life
i know it's not my time
to be married or have babies

it's hard coming out of a divorce
and feeling like you have to start all over again

in a way, i'm glad it's not my time
but sometimes i wish it was

23

boy was i in a slump this weekend
what a bad weekend for the bf to have a birthday

not only was i in a slump
but i had mandatory training
for job 3 the night of his big day

he was annoyed
i was frustrated

i took him to breakfast
and then i had to jet off to work

what have i gotten myself into?
a weekend job that will take me away
from family and friends
but will give me that extra
income i so desperately need

why is life so not fair!

I'm an auntie!!!

I'm an auntie!!


This is my sister's and her husband's baby, Varitek.


He's just so precious!


Look at that face!



He loves his yellow duckie!


Isn't he deliciously adorable?


He's going to grow up to be this.



Remember Beast from Sandlot?



Still think he's deliciously adorable??



I do!!

No more soggy feet!

I just bought these:


Last winter on campus was miserable. Wet socks, soggy pant legs, and cold feet are not fun. I was not about to put up with that this year, so I set out to find a pair of boots that I could wear with my every day clothes and save my feet from hypothermia.

I found these online. They were on sale, (!!) so there were only a few sizes left. I hope what I ordered, fits me.

I'm excited to try them out, but not excited enough to wish for an early rain or snow. So these babies will wait in what Andy calls my "Shoe Cave."

The Shoe Cave is actually extra storage under the stairs devoted entirely to my shoes and purses.

Yes, I have that many. Yes, it's ridiculous. Yes, the shoe and purse addiction will continue.

Thrilled

Yesterday I came home and made Red Velvet cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting and sprinkles for Corey's birthday.



Later that night, Andy and I went to see Odyssey Dance Theater's 'Thriller.' I've seen the production probably 10 times but I really wanted to take Andy to it. It's got a little bit of comedy and since he enjoyed their production of the 'Can Can Club' last March, I thought he would really like this show.









He wasn't feeling too well during the day, so I was worried that he wouldn't be well enough to enjoy the show. But as we were driving home, he said "I feel a little better, I think it was good for me to laugh. Maybe laughter really is the best medicine."



So all in all, a great night and a really fun show!

22

Help me choose!

it's Border's 40th Anniversary
and i got a 40% off Border's Rewards
coupon in the mail

i haven't had a new book in ages
so i'm going to do some online shopping

but i need your input
i like novels
adventure, girl stories, self help
i'll read pretty much anything really

so what do you love
that you think i should add
to my library?

Giveaway

There's a fabulous giveaway going on over at The Good Life For Less. It's sponsored by Magchunk. Go check it out because the winner gets a free virtual room makeover!!

21

my life is so strange right now

imagine not seeing your exhusband for two years

and then all of a sudden seeing him everywhere you go



today i saw him

he talked to me

totally awkward



a death in the family forced us

to reconnect last month



i have done nothing to further that continuation

although i did tell him that i felt

enough time had gone by that

i could put aside my bad feelings toward him

and be civil



now it seems as if he's putting

himself in my path

everywhere i go



i'm not sure why

he knows i'm dating someone

i am wondering if he's trying to get up

the confidence to bring things up to me

to talk about things

in an effort to clear his conscience



in any case

very strange

i'm not sure how to feel about it

18

i always begin with such good intentionsto stay on top of thingsto stay ahead of the gamebut it slowly starts to slip away from me suddenly everything is piling up and up and upi have to run to keep up with every day lifedeadlines, projects, assignments i want to succeedi want to be an over achieveri want to be the best i can be but there never seems to be enough time in the day for that

I'm in love

I think I may have mentioned a couple times how much I love these things:

I've wanted one for so long! I finally have my very own chandelier!!! Andy and I picked up this beauty at IKEA yesterday.

Oh my gosh! I am in love. I have no idea where I'm going to hang it, but I could seriously die a happy lady today.

I'm the Deadliest Catch

Okay, I'll confess. I have an intense obsession with The Deadliest Catch. Yes, I know you're wondering who on earth would find this show even remotely entertaining but it can enthrall me for hours. Seriously.

We don't have cable so I pretty much never get to watch the show. However, last night for some magical reason they were showing an episode of it on channel 30 (I forget what channel 30 is- but who cares, right?) We missed the first half but Andy was gracious enough to let me get my kicks watching the last 15 minutes of the episode.

Just so you know what you're missing, I'll give you a taste:


Intense right?!! I'm completely hooked. Don't judge me.

17

of course i didn't prepare for this exam like i should have
i know better than to think that i can just cram one hour before

but it's an essay test
everyone says it should be a piece of cake
just like retelling a story

yeah right, only i have to include specific facts
facts that even though i know- somehow keep hiding in the corners of my mind when i try to recall them

what have i done!!!
i've let this test intimidate me
and instead of facing it head on
i've hidden from it all week
now it's the last day
and i can't hide anymore

procrastination in it's most awful form

Want to see what I did?

Okay then, come on!! Over HERE.

Want to see what I did?

Andy's dad brought me some corn stalks last weekend, so a few days ago I set to work at transforming them into fall decoration for our front door.





I had so much fun on this project!! I'd still like to get some fall potted plants to place out there as well but we'll see if I ever get around to that.

I also went to my storage unit and got my box of Halloween decorations out and decorated the inside of the house.

Decorating for holidays has always been one of my favorite things to do. I think my mom got me on that. Always at the beginning of each month we would get together as a family and get out the holiday decorations for that month. Then we would put everything out in it's usual place. We decorated for every holiday, St. Patrick's Day, Thanksgiving, Valentines, and on and on.

I still like to go to my mom's house when she decorates for Christmas and help her put everything up. Each item has such a familiarity. It's funny to have such an attachment to those things. Even now, my mom still saves some of the advent calendar for us girls to do when we come home.

It's such a silly thing, but holiday decorations remind me of home and growing up doing crafts with my mom and sisters. Most of our holiday decorations are homemade and I remember lots of fun times working on them as a family.

It's been almost two years since I packed all of my things away and shoved them into the back of a rented storage unit. I thought it would only be a few months and then I'd get everything back. You really don't know how much things as simple as pillow cases and dishes mean to you until you don't have them anymore.

It's that familiarity again-that sense of know that you're 'home.' It's been a long time since I felt that feeling. The last two years I've spent living in someone else's house, using someone else's things, sleeping in someone else's bed. It's not a good feeling to feel like you don't have a place to call your own.

As I pulled my box of Halloween decorations out of my storage unit, I also grabbed a couple of quilts that my mom had made me, some of my dishes, and a few books. Finally being able to use my own things means so much to me.

I come back to the house every day and see my things surrounding me when I walk in the door and it's like I'm finally coming 'home.' It's really a great feeling and one that I will never take for granted again.

Decorating the door was a real treat for me and I can't wait to decorate for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Andy says we can put up a Christmas tree!! It's been a long time since I had my own Christmas tree. I've spent the last two Christmases as a guest in someone else's house, so I'm really looking forward to this.

In the spirit of decorating, Ash decided to get involved and do a little of her own decorating.....all over the back yard.

Yep- that's the remains of a bag of insulation we had in the garage.

Very pretty, Ash, but that's not what I meant by 'tinsel.'